寂しい

だれも思わない。。。だれもケア。。。みんなは忙しいです。。。かなしいな、僕。。。でも、だれも知る。。。

愛情友情知りたいことはなんでも。。。

Coconut ice blended with ice-cream

Received a mail today from the trainer (I assume) asking me to send some documents to them... suppose to go to their office and hand it to them but they know I'm from Melaka so they ask me to send to them by courier... and before 6pm on Monday... it's like so short of notice and I wonder will courier arrive in time since Sunday is a holiday... the mail also mention that the training starts on the 6th of July... so it seems like I wont be going to KL this week... but have to discuss with my brother first since I'll be staying his place... I'll still have my fingers crossed...

Thanks...

Finishing or Starting?

This post have been delayed like a month dy... hehe... suppose to write it after my finals but I have nothing to write about... once or twice I logged in, type the title and I go blank... even now I feel there is nothing to post... just craping so bare with me...

After the finals, it is like independence... no one care what you do, so you could do whatever you like... but the problem is there's nothing to do... I spent my time sleeping, playing games and surf the net while listening to musics... and the routines repeat day by day, just different sequence sometimes... after my final paper, I ended up with a DSL... hahaha... it's funny sometimes when I think about it... it feels like wasting money... I could save up and buy a DSLR... but come to think of it... without it, how do I pass my days till today... cause it seems like I pass most of my time playing it... and some games are quite addicting...

Neway, the fist week after finals I slack off enjoying myself for the time being... the second week, suppose that I start to find work... but I slack off till the end of the week only I start updating my resume and all... the reason is, I'm lost... I do not know which route to go and what to do... I keep thinking about it but everytime it ended with no answers... so I slack off... after talking to close friends and family member then only I start apply... I just click on whatever that I think suit me... like what a friend said:"Whack only la!"...

For the pass 2 weeks, I've been applying more than 10 jobs... it looks a lot to me... but my friend say:"10 only ar? normally, only 1 or 2 out of 10 will kena one"... sweat! but what he said kinda true cause after a week, non has a response... so I start to apply more... but most of the jobs need experience and some specific skills... as for me, I has non of both... whack also cant whack with both eyes close... but what I could do is only wait and wait... I also have sent my resume to my sister, brother and a few friends to help find job... but no response from them too...

Till lately, last Monday, when I was having my afternoon sleep (not everyday)... the phone rang and I was forced wake... I picked up the phone and this fella was telling me stuff... he offered me to go training for a month... SAP ERP training... I was kinda shock cause this opportunity hard to come by...the training is at Kelana Jaya and starts 1st July... he ask me to consider and prepare since I was in Melaka and he'll call back on Thursday... after I hang up, it was like a dream to me... after about half an hour passed... another phone call came and this time ask me to come for an interview on Friday... 2 on the same day, not bad huh? finally I see the light at the end of the tunnel and a path...

Today (Thursday), after discussing with my family for 2 days, I waited for his call... but it din came... so I decided to call him instead.. maybe I misiinterpret what he said last time, which is to call him back but I heard as he'll call back... I said I need more details on the training so he explained... and he said he'll forward my resume to the trainer and I have to do some registration thingy... he asked me to wait for their call... I felt a little worried since he said he'll forward to the trainer... cause it seems like my spot have not been confirm and I might not get it... as for the interview, I have rejected it as my dad say since I'm going training then the interview no need dy... and since my sister and brother coming back this weekend...

The path is unclear again... but at least there's still a light... I really hope I ould get the training since it's a hard opportunity to get... I'll have my fingers crossed... but it seem like I'm not the only one that is lost... some people share but some keep to themselves... it's been a month or so since the finals dy... that is the finishing part, university life... the "real" life is just starting...

I'm scared...

As fast as she can

Ted:"What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second, you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I kept waiting for it to happen and waiting for it to happen and... I guess I'm just tired of waiting."

Stella:"I know that you're tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on the way Ted, and she's getting here as fast as she can."
- How I Met Your Mother

Still waiting...

PISSED

I follow my parent to the pasar malam nearby our house at Ujong Pasir just a while ago... and it pissed me off of how stupid some people are... my mom finish buying vege so we went to buy durian... on the way we pass by our car and no one was blocking it... after we bought the durians, about 5 minutes or so... there's a pajero blocking our way out... damn idiot, no one was in the car... we waited like about 15 minutes or more... my dad got pissed and scolded the fella... the driver is a fat lady... when she came, she din even apologize... she ask my dad not to be so rude... WHAT THE HELL!!! then she also say everyone also park like that... HELLO, are you an IDIOT? people go die you also go die la... she din even said a single sorry... damn stupid wei... wasted our time only... and it was scorching hot summor... IDIOT!!!

That's how STUPID people are...

again

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood opening
Even though I must have been pursuing, The continuation of my dream
On a narrow, winding road, I trip over other people

It’s not that I want to return to, How it was like back then
I’m searching, For the sky that I’ve lost
I wish that you’ll understand me

Stop making that sad face, Like you’ve been sacrificed
There aren’t tears at the end of sins, I’ve painfully bore them all this time

In the labyrinth of emotions where I can’t see the exit, Who am I waiting for?
As if having written it in a white notebook, I want to divulge myself more honestly

What, Do I want to flee from?
…Something known as reality?
So that I can fulfill myself, I’m alive

When it seems like I’ve forgotten about it, In the middle of the night
Because it can’t be done, Safe and sound… There’s no place for me to return to, either

Isn’t life still too long, For erasing these thoughts?
I even welcome such a pain, That turns nostalgic

I’ve got to apologize, ah, I’m sorry
Unable to express it well, You were worried, weren’t you?

Everything that I held back then, Everything that I’ll hold tomorrow
Because I won’t, Put them in order
I wish that you’ll understand me

I quietly closed my eyes, I can even see
The things that I don’t want to see, I get a little annoyed at unnecessary rumors
What was the initial remark like?

If we meet twice, aren’t we friends? So stop lying
As if my red heart is irritated, It’s burning inside of my body

The truth is, I’m anticipating
…Something known as reality?

So that I can fulfill myself, I’m alive
I feel like shouting so, Can you hear me?

Because it can’t be done, Safe and sound
…There’s no place for me to return to, either

I’m always grateful for kindness, So I want to become strong
In order to move on, I welcome friend and foe alike

How can you open, The next door? Are you thinking about it?
I can’t pull back anymore, The story is starting
Wake up, wake up

Isn’t life still too long, For erasing these thoughts?
I have things left to do, Because I want to try redoing them
Let’s go again

So that I can fulfill myself, I’m alive
I feel like shouting so, Can you hear me?

Because it can’t be done, Safe and sound
…There’s no place for me to return to, either

I’m always grateful for kindness, So I want to become strong
I even welcome such a pain, That turns nostalgic
- YUI

Do you have to be like this?

frickle minded...

...is one of my nature... I hate making decisions... especially sudden decisions... that include while playing games... but games can simply whack and redo if got mistakes... in reality, once you made a decision... you cant undo it... if life is like games, it would be so wonderful...

こわいよ。。。
キミをひつようとする。。。

Love hanging out...

Wished I could do it everyday...

キミを思う。。。
行きたいよ、キミのそばに。。。

Where this leads to?

It's been a long time since I blog... well, actually there are nothing to blog about... the pass 2 weeks after my exam I have been doing nothing... I pass my days by playing a lot of games and searching for more games to play, watching tv and sleep...

The final result has finally released a few days ago... I am officially graduated... 5 years of study and this is where I am, no where... I always thought that I have my life all planned out... but when I finished my last paper, I only knew that I did not planned it this far... guess I was wrong... I don see where will I be in the near future or a month from now...

There's been a lot through my mind recently... should I do that, should I do this... what if I do this and what if I do that... I really have no idea what I am going to do or be... my mind is full with questions unanswered... talking to my family and friends about it always ended up with the same question again, what I wanna do?... if I knew, I would not asked... there are also things that I could not discuss with them, personal stuffs that I need answers... answers which I would never get... or maybe answers that I'd already knew but just need confirmation...

Neway, my life has not been what I always hoped for... and it has not been easy for me to live it... obstacles here and there... I just hoped that for once, just once, everything would go smoothly...

今、キミをどこ。。。
逢いたいよ。。。

Breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces (One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces (Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces yeah (Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah (Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces (One still in love while the other ones leaving)
Oh it don't break even no (Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
- The Script

What am I to do...

70th

Last Saturday my aunt invited us to my uncle 70th birthday at Renaissance Hotel... dinner of about 30 people... aunt just invite those relatives in Melaka...

Most of the people are in the pictures... some are camera shy though... tsk tsk...

I.....