Mixed Feelings
Recently been having all this feeling altogether... all this mixed feelings are making me crazy sometimes... don't even know what am I thinking or feeling anymore... sometimes I just went blank...
There's a time when we; the usual gang, were playing badminton at night after class... it was about 30 minutes before times up... and I suddenly went from cheerful to moody... a mood swing that just happened so fast and suddenly... I don't even know what's wrong... suddenly I just don't have the mood to talk, to joke, or to do anything...
I don't know what I want anymore... people around me doesn't feel like the people I knew anymore... they just isn't themselves anymore... acting tough and acting as though nothing had happened... keeping all their feelings inside... I also had been acting... well, sort of... but it's killing me... seeing everyone is so 'fake'... including myself... just go with the flow... thats what I told myself again and again... aren't there anything that could be done?
All this reminds me of the olden days... not that old actually... a few years back... in alpha year probably... where everyone is so happy together... no issues, nothing... just happy together... why can't we be like that always...
I wish I could go back and undone all the things that I didn't meant to do and say... or the things that I had done and said... and maybe all or some of the issues will not happened... nah, maybe I just feeling stupid... or probably being selfish... but I really wish for a clear sky ahead...
There's a time when we; the usual gang, were playing badminton at night after class... it was about 30 minutes before times up... and I suddenly went from cheerful to moody... a mood swing that just happened so fast and suddenly... I don't even know what's wrong... suddenly I just don't have the mood to talk, to joke, or to do anything...
I don't know what I want anymore... people around me doesn't feel like the people I knew anymore... they just isn't themselves anymore... acting tough and acting as though nothing had happened... keeping all their feelings inside... I also had been acting... well, sort of... but it's killing me... seeing everyone is so 'fake'... including myself... just go with the flow... thats what I told myself again and again... aren't there anything that could be done?
All this reminds me of the olden days... not that old actually... a few years back... in alpha year probably... where everyone is so happy together... no issues, nothing... just happy together... why can't we be like that always...
I wish I could go back and undone all the things that I didn't meant to do and say... or the things that I had done and said... and maybe all or some of the issues will not happened... nah, maybe I just feeling stupid... or probably being selfish... but I really wish for a clear sky ahead...
Winter solstice this Saturday...
Christmas just around the corner...
Christmas just around the corner...
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