Festival of lights

Happy Deepavali!
took this while at DP with Yenmei last Thursday...
she say very long din see this kind of things dy...
many people took picture too...
hahaha...

Happy interning...

City of Sorrows

I'll be leaving Melaka soon... the City of sorrows I called it... the place where I was born and grew up... I never left for more than a week before... or did I? cant remember... this is my first time leaving for so long... 3 months to be exact... actually I could do my training in Melaka if I want to... but I chose not to... I made that decision long ago before the ITP matter came up... long ago after I knew about the ITP when I enter MMU 4 years or so ago...

The reason I'm also not sure myself... I'm trying to be independent... I always thought that I am an independent person since secondary school... cause I am mostly home alone after school till late evening around 5pm when my mom came back from work... and during the holiday I'll be alone since the very morning where my parent went to work... I'll cooked my own lunch and do my own stuff... but guess I was wrong... since I entered MMU, everthing is different...

I guess I'm not that independent anyway... I depend on friends and family when I face problems... I did not dare to take the first steps... did not dare to do anything alone... I'm a shy person... but during the years in MMU... I did changed... although sometimes I still depend on others... but I had taken the first step more than before... and also speak out my mind... but that wasn't enough... my sister and brother sometimes poke fun at me that I wasn't independent enough... even some of my friends told me that... but that is about to change...

This city has given me joy and also pain... but if you ask me which is more... I would say 'pain'... because as humans, we tend to remember bad stuff more than happy stuff... happy times are like chocolate that melts in your mouth... once it's finish, you cant remember what kind of sweetness it is... but you remember that it is sweet... but bad times are like scars and tattoos... it cut deep to the skin and left a permanent mark... and forgeting the mark is like trying to forget a part of you...

Being in this city and being in my room is suffocating... it's hard to breath properly... and recently so many problems are falling on me... I really need a change of scene... or am I just running away... hopefully making this choice is a right one... people say life is like a roller coaster... sometimes it's smooth... but sometimes it's bumpy... life is also like riding a ferris wheel... at some point in life, you'll be at the very top of the ferris... enjoying the view and amazed by its beauty... but at some point, you'll be at the very bottom... no sceneries, nothing... the point of my life now is like that... I'm at the very bottom of the ferris... but no matter if you are riding a roller coaster or a ferris wheel... it's basically the same... c'est la vie...

I won't give up on life... there are still so many things to see, hear, taste, try and learn... I'm just having my pre-test in life... once I pass this test... everything will be fine... alhough there will be more test after that... but that's how life works... it test you non-stop... it's about learning... and learning I will... so, wish me all the best... and I wish everyone all the best too... bonne chance!

It's a whole new beginning...

It's 25th today

Today I spend my birthday morning at Pantai hospital... went for check up again today... meet the doctor and he check my hand for less than 5 minutes and we're done... nothing much he said... just that I should be very careful and there's still some movement that I'm restricted to do... and within this 3 months to 6 months, I should not be doing those activities that could probably make my shoulder joint fall off again...

After that went to Tesco with my parents... bought some daily stuff for me and some food for my training... like I'm going to move out lidet... on the way home tapau-ed lunch... late that evening, Arif ajak went out... so I went out again with him.. he drove... went MP again cause he wanna buy some stuff... had dinner at BK... seriously the burger had no standard... McD's burger are still better and cheaper too... he fetch me home and he said he's going back KL tonight by bas...

I went home and took a shower... get prepare and pack my stuff for my training... I'm going KL tomorrow... but not going to the hostel yet... ya, the company I'll be working provide a hostel... neway, I'll be going my sister place and stay a day there first... she's having BBQ tomorrow night... so Monday I'll only be going to the hostel... and according to a friend working there and staying at the hostel... there's nothing there... an empty house with only a matress...

This is my luggages...
there's another bag for food and daily stuffs... hahaha...
macam mau pindah...

Hmm...
what I forget to bring ar?

Not the same

I've been caging in my room since Saturday after my final paper... most of the time I'm in my room watching dramas or anime or just browsing around and trying to solve my ITP problem... as of today, it consider solve as I called the lecturer and he said:"do not worry about that... it's just a small matter... just go and do your training..." felt a little relieved hearing that... but I'm still a little worried...

Neway, yesterday Yenmei and me decided to meet before I went KL for my training this weekend... we had McD for lunch but she did not quite enjoy it... we talked and craped... and we watched House Bunny at DP... funny show... then we walk around shopping for working cloths... she bought some and I bought one... we had dinner at Sushi King... din expect to have dinner but since so late dy and we still shopping... so might as well lo... hahaha... read her post for more details... I really enjoy her accompany... and I really need to 'live' my life and take a deep breath...

This trimester had really been a bumpy ride... many things happened and with FYP and ITP to add to the weight... it's not the same dy... everything changed... I felt most of my friends changed too... not only friends in MMU but other friends too... I dunno, I just had the feeling it's different... might be because they are working dy... gain experience and the stress they facing... sometimes I also have the feeling I do not know them anymore... what will happened after 3 months? after our training...

Maybe I am the one that changed... problems after problems... and to add to it, my right hand fall off... I was kinda lucky cause it hapenned during the holiday before the final exams... if not, I wont be taking the exams and have to take supplimentary papers... but during the holiday is also kinda boring... especially when you cant do anything... it feels lonely... and it just sucks the life out of you... sometimes before I fall asleep at night... I still had the memories of that day... the pain and everything... and today is exactly the 1 month anniversary of "Kelvin's hand fall off"... now, my hands are getting better dy... but it's not the same...

Ohya...
Happy birthday!
Poingee...

Lonely 'independence'

Today is my last paper of the trimester... finally, it's over... after a long 2 weeks of suffering from lack of sleep and stuffing my brain with theories... I can finally let go of everthing... relieve is the word... I know I've been moody the whole exam week... I don't talk to anyone and just keeping quiet... it had been hard for me... so please understand what I'm going through...

Anywho, after the exam today... thought of could lepak or just hang around some where... but the 2 persons that I most wanted to see and hang out with are not around... one went back to home town after the exam, and the other went for Cameron trip... so sad...

So I called up my friends to see whether they're around and free... they are in Malacca... but the problem is that we don't have transport... me on the other hand can't drive so far yet although I've been driving to campus for my papers... so, no hanging around...

The last resort I took is went out with my parent... mom say she wanted to go JJ to buy some stuffs... so I tag along... and since I tag along, she canceled to cook dinner and decided to have dinner outside... went JJ and I bought a pant for my training... there aren't much people around... went to supermarket mom bought some stuff and went back... stop at Bukit Baru to have dinner... char kuey tiao and chee cheong fan... long time din have those dy...

What a sad end to my trimester before the training... after this won't be seeing them for 3 months or so... it's like a rainy ending to a nice day... oh well, guess I have to 'celebrate' it by myself... hmm... think I'll watch Heroes season 3... hahaha... yes, the new season has started... wee~ hopefully it's not as disappointment like season 2... other dramas also has started such as Grey's Anatomy season 5, Private Practice season 2 and House season 5... hehehe... so, typing off...

No trinka trinka for me I guess...

I love Chiffon cakes

Mom bake chiffon cakes today...
she got a new chiffon mold...
which are made of silicon...
it could stand heat up to 250 degrees...
I help too...



We make this first...
but it turns out too small...
I alone could finish that...
bro is coming back with his friends...



so we make another...
by doubling the recipe...
looks like bread loaf...

Tomorrow is my last paper...

Trinka trinka

OLIVIA - Trinka trinka
Trinka trinka is word that she created that means Excited, Laugh, Giggle, Fun, and all the synonym of that...

No one is around
You're making it all up
Time to disarm yourself
Because when you are free
And act naturally
Something begins to happen

Slowly I, see you
Wake out of a very serious snoozing
Right eye, left eye
I feel like on a verge of a big surprise

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Internal carousel queues an upright rainbow
Sending out a friendly glimmer

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Calling out on a big shift
It knows we are laughing
Together we laugh

This space is open
You're creating in it
I know when you're doing it with joy
Because it has a shine
No words can explain
It reaches out and touches me

In your rhythm
Some may not understand what you are doing
Oh! behave! now
All of a sudden anything seems possible

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Possibilities inspiration galore
Inhale and exhale at the same time

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Look what is found
So much to discover
It's never over

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Internal carousel queues an upright rainbow
Sending out a friendly glimmer

I'm feeling trinka trinka
It's really happening
My heart is beating steady
But I wanna scream!
Calling out on a big shift
It knows we are laughing
Together we laugh

Trinka trinka...
trying to be...

I'm not happy

Notes are too plain...
see also muak...
need some colours...



With so many notes to read...
so little time...
who'll be happy?

Hope I wont lose it...

Relationship

*Continuation from previous post*

I think both wont be happy cause both are so full of themselves... they forgotten the people around them or themselves... one live all by himself leaving his friends and family... the other thinks too much of his friends and family and ignore himself... it shouldn't be this way... there's a saying: too much of a good thing is bad... everything should be in average... like Person C...

Person C: A selfless person that sometimes are selfish too... he do stuff depending on what he is doing and put either himself or others as first priority... when a friend ask for help, he would help if he is capable of it... and whether he is in the condition to do so...

Relationship among humans are tough... you can't read the mind of what the other is thinking about... and you won't know what will the other do or react... all you could do is be yourself... stay firm... you can't control what others say or do... but you could control how you react to it... being selfless is not the best way... sometimes, you should be selfish too... depending on the situation and condition you're in...

Friendship, love, define it anyway you want... but some people just don't get it... friendship they will think is among friends... love, they will think is among lovers... friendship and love could be the same... it could be define is many way... friendship among friends, friendship among families, love among lovers, love among friends, love among families and so on...

'I miss you', 'I like you', 'I love you'... normally when you see or hear that, you will think of lovers... but actually you could use it to anyone... to a friend that you din see for a long time: I miss you... to a very best friend that understands you: I live you... to family members cause you'll be going far away: I love you... you could use it any where...

Well, most people have the wrong concept or idea or whatever you call it... but this can't be blame... cause we are in a multicultural country... and the custom here is different... people here are not that open minded as it is in other countries...

Not sure what's the point of me posting this... kinda emo recently... too much to think... and exams just around the corner...

haih~

Who is happier?

Person A: A totally selfish jerk that only thinks of himself... no matter what he do, he put himself as first priority... he don't care what others think... as long as he get what he wants... when a friend ask for help, he will consider for awhile thinking of his condition... or he would just reject it without thinking cause he just don't feel like helping...

Person B: A totally selfless person that no matter what he do he always think of others first before himself... he always consider others feeling and put his aside... when a friend ask for help, he would surely say yes as long as he is capable of it without thinking twice...

*The above does not particularly convey to anyone or anyone that I know*

So, who is happier?

My coursework marks sux...
a week more to go...
I'm doomed...

A Swedish Weekend

*Edited - change the title to a more suitable one

Last Saturday was my cheack up with the doctor... went to Pantai around 10am and waited a while for my turn... after 15 minutes or so my name was called and went in to see the doctor... the doctor check my hand a while and take off the plaster that 'tied' my shoulder to my body... finally I could move my hand... but not as free as it was... it's still weak and the doctor told me some not-to for the time being for at least 3 weeks or a month... he also said that I could not play badminton for the time being for at least 3 months... other sports such as climbing and swimming also are not allowed... lifting heavy stuff are a no no...cause it hurts... have to go for a check up again at the end of October...

So, after the appointment... we went to KL to visit my sister... my brother-in-law just came back from Sweden for a business training there for 3 weeks... Sweden have their own language and currency (forget call what, Kro-something)... the standard of living there are high and the stuff are damn expensive... my brother-in-law say the cheapest food there is hotdogs in a bun which cost RM50 a piece... yes, you din see wrongly and I din type wrongly... it's RM50.00 (fifty, lima puluh, wu shi, go zap, em sap, go ju, cinquante)...the spaghetti and pizzas also cost around that... there's Mc Donalds there... in their currency of course...

Neway, at night, we had Tony Roma's for dinner at Sunway Piramid... the food there okay la... the appetizer is nice... especially the prawn salad (forget name and forget take picture... hehe...)... the main dish was so so only... is almost the as TGIF... my sister say last time (dont know how long dy), their food is nice... but now is not that nice dy... less people come to eat too... below are some pictures I took...

This is their famous main course... a bit dry... but they got give four different kind of sauce for you to choose... cost about RM60.00...

This is also dry... dont have any sauce... but okay la... dont have the mutton smell... cost about RM50.00...

This the fish is not fresh... but ok la... cost about RM40.00...

I ordered this... the salmon is also not fresh... and it's over cooked cause the meat is kinda hard... cost about RM40.00...

So if you decided to go for western food... I suggest you go for TGIF... ohya, both restoran have free flow for soft drinks and ice lemon tea... so you could share among each other to save up... after dinner it's almost 10pm dy... so we walk around a bit to shake off the fats... then went back to see pictures taken by my brother-in law in Sweden... it's so clean there... the weather there is cloudy-like the whole year around... and snow during winter... there is not a single sun light... the buildings all looks so fake like cupboard or drawings...

Today (Sunday), went to IKEA (product of Sweden) for lunch at its food court... there's a lot of people and the food there are not so bad... the price was reasonable too about the same price as fast food... after lunch went shopping at IKEA (duh!)... they really have great ideas that you never thought of... some just amazed you... and you would just WOW! to some of it... my sister bought some stuff for her house as well as my parent for ours... as for me, I bought the following... hehehe...

As you can see... it's white in colour... match my lappie... hahaha... now I could roll from here to there and back... although it's not that comfy... but it still better than nothing... what do you expect from a RM45 chair... at least better than my old chair... got wheels but cannot roll... more comfortable one will cost you at least RM100 to begin with... no money la... put a pillow below than okay dy lo... hahaha...

Anywho, after that we went to my brother's house to rest a while and have some coffee... since his house is near there... around 5pm we left and went back to my sister's house... pack our stuff and head back to malacca... my dog so happy to see us... so manja...

What a weekend... released myself totaly... well, not totally la... but still a lot... a week living in disability is so troublesome... I really feel for all the diasabled people... they've been living in disability for their whole life... but me, just for a week I complaining dy... haih~ anywho, now I could do stuff normally again... but my right hand are still not that strong... it's not completely recover yet... still hurt sometimes... well, I'm going off now... typing off...

P.S.:I'm typing this with my both hands... hehehe... and I could wear my shirts normally again...

It's 'raining'...
but I haven start my revisions...
the storm is coming...

All eyes on me

Yesterday my friends ask me to lepak... I feel kinda lazy and tired... and in my current condition some more... I thought of not going but went anyway since my friends seldom come back... we went to MP, Daryl drove... went there shop a little but nothing to buy... then Arif decided to cut hair at Backstage... orang kaya... around 6.45pm he still haven done... been there almost an hour... Daryl have to get back around 7pm... so we left Arif...

During the lepak time... everyone was looking at me... some look shock... some look pity (mostly older people)... some look disgusted, as though I am a freak or some kind of being... I did not pay much attention to them of course... I went on with what we do like normal... but I hate the feelings... I don't even know what I'm feeling...

Around 8+pm, Arif called and ask wanna watch movie not... sweat... he say Daryl is fine with it as long as I'm fine with it... around 9.30, Daryl came and fetched me and met Arif at MP cinema... wanted to go DP but the showing time is not suitable... we watched Painted Skin.. not bad la... it's a China flim that speaks Mandarin... it's about a lady which is a demon that eats people heart for her to stay young... it's an action thriller with quite a number of fights... there are a few funny scene too... I give 7/10...

I need a friend...
someone that understands...