City of Sorrows
I'll be leaving Melaka soon... the City of sorrows I called it... the place where I was born and grew up... I never left for more than a week before... or did I? cant remember... this is my first time leaving for so long... 3 months to be exact... actually I could do my training in Melaka if I want to... but I chose not to... I made that decision long ago before the ITP matter came up... long ago after I knew about the ITP when I enter MMU 4 years or so ago...
The reason I'm also not sure myself... I'm trying to be independent... I always thought that I am an independent person since secondary school... cause I am mostly home alone after school till late evening around 5pm when my mom came back from work... and during the holiday I'll be alone since the very morning where my parent went to work... I'll cooked my own lunch and do my own stuff... but guess I was wrong... since I entered MMU, everthing is different...
I guess I'm not that independent anyway... I depend on friends and family when I face problems... I did not dare to take the first steps... did not dare to do anything alone... I'm a shy person... but during the years in MMU... I did changed... although sometimes I still depend on others... but I had taken the first step more than before... and also speak out my mind... but that wasn't enough... my sister and brother sometimes poke fun at me that I wasn't independent enough... even some of my friends told me that... but that is about to change...
This city has given me joy and also pain... but if you ask me which is more... I would say 'pain'... because as humans, we tend to remember bad stuff more than happy stuff... happy times are like chocolate that melts in your mouth... once it's finish, you cant remember what kind of sweetness it is... but you remember that it is sweet... but bad times are like scars and tattoos... it cut deep to the skin and left a permanent mark... and forgeting the mark is like trying to forget a part of you...
Being in this city and being in my room is suffocating... it's hard to breath properly... and recently so many problems are falling on me... I really need a change of scene... or am I just running away... hopefully making this choice is a right one... people say life is like a roller coaster... sometimes it's smooth... but sometimes it's bumpy... life is also like riding a ferris wheel... at some point in life, you'll be at the very top of the ferris... enjoying the view and amazed by its beauty... but at some point, you'll be at the very bottom... no sceneries, nothing... the point of my life now is like that... I'm at the very bottom of the ferris... but no matter if you are riding a roller coaster or a ferris wheel... it's basically the same... c'est la vie...
I won't give up on life... there are still so many things to see, hear, taste, try and learn... I'm just having my pre-test in life... once I pass this test... everything will be fine... alhough there will be more test after that... but that's how life works... it test you non-stop... it's about learning... and learning I will... so, wish me all the best... and I wish everyone all the best too... bonne chance!
The reason I'm also not sure myself... I'm trying to be independent... I always thought that I am an independent person since secondary school... cause I am mostly home alone after school till late evening around 5pm when my mom came back from work... and during the holiday I'll be alone since the very morning where my parent went to work... I'll cooked my own lunch and do my own stuff... but guess I was wrong... since I entered MMU, everthing is different...
I guess I'm not that independent anyway... I depend on friends and family when I face problems... I did not dare to take the first steps... did not dare to do anything alone... I'm a shy person... but during the years in MMU... I did changed... although sometimes I still depend on others... but I had taken the first step more than before... and also speak out my mind... but that wasn't enough... my sister and brother sometimes poke fun at me that I wasn't independent enough... even some of my friends told me that... but that is about to change...
This city has given me joy and also pain... but if you ask me which is more... I would say 'pain'... because as humans, we tend to remember bad stuff more than happy stuff... happy times are like chocolate that melts in your mouth... once it's finish, you cant remember what kind of sweetness it is... but you remember that it is sweet... but bad times are like scars and tattoos... it cut deep to the skin and left a permanent mark... and forgeting the mark is like trying to forget a part of you...
Being in this city and being in my room is suffocating... it's hard to breath properly... and recently so many problems are falling on me... I really need a change of scene... or am I just running away... hopefully making this choice is a right one... people say life is like a roller coaster... sometimes it's smooth... but sometimes it's bumpy... life is also like riding a ferris wheel... at some point in life, you'll be at the very top of the ferris... enjoying the view and amazed by its beauty... but at some point, you'll be at the very bottom... no sceneries, nothing... the point of my life now is like that... I'm at the very bottom of the ferris... but no matter if you are riding a roller coaster or a ferris wheel... it's basically the same... c'est la vie...
I won't give up on life... there are still so many things to see, hear, taste, try and learn... I'm just having my pre-test in life... once I pass this test... everything will be fine... alhough there will be more test after that... but that's how life works... it test you non-stop... it's about learning... and learning I will... so, wish me all the best... and I wish everyone all the best too... bonne chance!
It's a whole new beginning...
1 comment:
all the best for training. don't buat hal.
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