me during holiday

It had been a week since holiday started... and everyday has been BORED... nothing to do at home... no any nice movie on tv... turn on my computer also dont know for what... on MSN and YM and only see a few souls... usually less then 10... and not the people I want to chat with... each day is so meaningless...

I've watched 2 dramas in 6 days... 3 days each... and 20 episodes each... and today I started with a new drama... if not I really dont know what else I can do... face my computer listen to musics... sooner or later I'll go mad... watch tv but all shows are not interesting... all the interesting channels I dont have... bored to death...

Wanna go lepak but no one around... Melaka is so small... always go lepak also is MP and Dataran... or JJ depends on the mood and stuff to buy... so no mood... everyday is the same... sleep, eat, drama, sleep, eat, drama, and it goes on till the end of holiday... hopefully not...

Ohya, as you notice... I change my banner dy... got jelak of the previous wan... so thought of making a new one... but as you can see... I dont have any ideas at all... kinda sux at designing...so simply make a simple one... simple is best... hahaha...

Wanna buy a laptop... but so many choices and dont know which to buy... been researching this few days whenever I'm not drama-ing... hope to get it before next semester starts... next semester will be a busy one... especially with FYP... I found a title I like and emailed the lecturer to meet him... but he didnt reply till now... hopefully I can get it cause the backup title is not that promising...

Didnt expect to blog anything cause really dont have anything to blog about... but almost a week since I last blog... so simply blog about anything... didnt expect it to be this long... hehehe.. so, how's your holiday?

だめだよ...

Empty

The Click Five

Tried to take a picture, of love
Didn't think I'd miss her, that much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter, in ink
Its been getting better, I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty, its empty

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing, is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered, if we
Should be getting under, these sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty, its empty

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing, is beating our hearts
We're empty

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing, is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty
We're empty

なくないよ...

Like A Dream

Today everthing just happened as though it's a dream... I woke up around 10am and receive a call from Poingee that he might be reaching my house around 1pm... he coming to take some of his stuff back... so I had breakfast and wasted my time while waiting for him... around 12.45am I called him and he say he about to ready... and he said CC might follow him to my house... so I bath and get ready too...

They reached around 1.30pm or so... and have lunch at my house... my parent had went out before they came... so after lunch Poingee ask me some stuff about his new lappy... and then we went out lepak at mp... mp was so packed with people... but luckily we found a parking near to the staircase... we walk around like no body business... went into a shop, look around, and came out... Poingee wanted to buy jigsaw puzzle but dont have the one he wanted...

So after lepak a while went over to Dataran... also quite pack with people... went in the main entrance only and we say 'teletubbies' dancing around... quite a number of people was watching... kids enjoyed it... it's the school holidays... so there're all this kid stuff happening at mp and dataran... also window shop a while and then we went back around 4.30pm...

They hang out at my house a while... Poingee copy some stuff from me... while CC fell asleep... they went back around 5.30pm... and as soon as they leave... my mind is as blank or empty as a piece of paper... I was thinking did that just happened? what just happened? it's like a dream...

Too much is in my mind now... I dont know what to think or what to do... what am I suppose to do... what am I gonna do... what will I be doing... what am i doing... problems after problems seem to keep popping up... my phone since yesterday night cant call and receive calls... restarted it like a million times... and done everything I could... still hopeless... why does everything always went wrong for me? why cant it all go well for once? my liife sux...

Wake me up...
なくなく...

End | Begin

Wahaha... finally merdeka dy... today is my final paper... there's only one word to describe it which is CRAPE... it's either you know it or not... so I con all the way to the end... hopefully I wont fail any papers... I'll be starting my final year soon... and I cant afford to fail any subjects...

After today's paper... suppose to went lepak-ing... but because of Poingee wanting something from me and going back soon... cause his new lappy has arrived... I have to went back with him, copy the stuff he want, and take my pendrive back... cant lend it to him cause might need it during the holiday... after that sent him to sentral... but the earliest bus he got was 7.30pm and that time is just around 6pm... so we decided to go Tesco to have dinner cause it's the nearest place... had Shakey's and we waited like forever for our mushroom soup... they just about to cook it... after dinner walk a bit and sent him to sentral... at least got lepak a bit... hehe...

In 3 more weeks, I'll be starting my final year which I'll be doing my FYP... which I still dont know what I will be doing... and for training... I got a placement in a company during the exam week last week... a cyberjaya lecturer sent an email to me with only the address of the company I would be in... nothing else... the company is located at Kepong, Kuala Lumpur which is very far from where I wanted... so I reply the email asking the lecturer to relocate me to somewhere nearer to my choices, Shah Alam or Cyberjaya... giving him some reasons and excuses of course... he reply saying that he'll look inti it... hopefully what he said is true...

I just started my holiday and I starting to get bored dy... cause I know I'll be repeating the days again and again with the same routine... would spend most of my time watching dramas I guess...have some canto dramas that I haven watch... hehehe... guess that's all... typing off...

すきだよ...

Nerd

It's so obvious that I'm not...
read only 1 out of 6 parts...
then lost my concentration dy...
and see what I did...

Losing my mind...

Hmmm...

slack, hot, notes, puke...
make a sentence yourself...

Moodless...
again...

3 down, off to PD, 1 left

Finally get to update my blog... hehehe... after 3 days of paper in a row... I finally could get some rest and have better sleep... been lag of sleep for a week dy... neway, after my third paper on Saturday... I went to Poingee's house to wait for my brother to fetch me... but Poingee going home and his sister is on her way... so I though I have to wait at campus snce no one was at home... CC went back and Tzean dono where the hell is he... but 10 minutes before Poingee sister came, Tzean came back... so I no need go to campus... tough luck...

So, long story short... my brother came around 1pm and we waited for our parents to come home from Merlimau... we're going Port Dickson... wuhu~ beach, sand and sea... after all the preparation, we're off... it took around 2 hours to reach our hotel/apartment... the place is called Ancasa Resort... went there with my brothers friends cause is them who plan it to celebrate my brother's birthday... so my brother ask us to tag along and he book an extra room/house for us... my sister and brother-in-law came too... after checking in and went to our room... it's about 4pm or so dy...

Our room's hall...

Dining area...

View from our room...
you'll see why for the caption at the end...

We rested a while and around 5+pm we went down to the beach... yeah~ sand and salt water... I've been wanting to go to the seaside for a long time dy... hehehe... we play for a while and then we ride the banana boat... it's my first time... didn't expect they have those there also... so 8 of us went on... my brother-in-law just have his tooth surgery so cant get into the sea... the fellow ask:"nak buang brapa kali?"... and all of us agreed on 3 times... he bought us very far away from where we are and toss us into the sea twice... and we have to climb to the top of the banana boat ourself... the view was amazing but too bad I cant see well without my spectacle... the breeze was nice and cool... the third toss was near to the shore where we could swim back... it was fun but climbing on the boat is tiring...

There are hundreds of people...

I'm the fourth from the left...
the person not looking here is my brother...
hahaha...

After that we play on the beach for a while since we're all wet dy... tried to take a picture of my footprint... but didn't turn out to be as I expect it to be... the sand on the beach was too 'mampat'... cant make a nice print... it was high tide during that moment... and all the sand are wet... we hang around and took some pictures... then saw a man selling ice-cream... hehehe... it's nice to have ice-cream after having fun... before we went back to the room... we walk around the place a while...

My footprint...
disappointed...

Love this photo...

Some landscape around the hotel...

After cleaning ourselves... we preapred the food that we bought... make sandwiches... mom brought rendang, ketupat and sambal which is cooked at home... my brother and his friends at first decided to BBQ at the seaside... but due to some difficulties, they BBQ in their room... which was prohibited... but they do it anyway... since no one complains... so we just let it be... hahaha...

they have fun id their room while we in ours... at the time when they gonna cut the cake... my parent already slept... my sister, brother-in-law and me was also tired... so we ask them to go on without us... and we slept...

Compare it with the 'High Tide' picture...

The next morning woke up around 9.30am... after having breakfast... we prepared our stuff... ready to go home... check out at 12pm and we're off... at first thought of going further up to the beach side... but no one knows the way... so we decided to went back... reach home around 3pm... so tired... but it was fun...

EngSoc...
haih~

Mirrorcle World

By: Ayumi Hamasaki

Did I imagine this kind of future?
Did you imagine this kind of future?

Did I wish for this kind of future?
Did you wish for this kind of future?

"The beginning or the end?"
"giving up or holding on?"
"shrugging off or in despair?"
You tell me just to go forward

Am I able to handle this kind of era?
Are you able to handle this kind of era?

Should I leave my body, or remain trapped inside it?
Should I pretend I can see it, or is it just not there anyway?
Should I fight, or raise the white flag?
I'm not going to run away like a victim

In this world, we have to slow down because we don't know everything
That way, we can continue down a cleared path

"The beginning or the end?"
"giving up or holding on?"
"shrugging off or in despair?"
You tell me just to go forward

Is it because I've become strong
That I can be without tears too, or...

Moving forward...

Mommy's Day

Today my mom din cook at all...
my dad belanja lunch and dinner...
have Shakey's for lunch...
they tapao fish and chips for me...
cause I was sleeping when they went out...
we had Nando's for dinner...
cause is my mom's favourite...
Happy Mother's Day...
Love ya...

So full...

Procrastinating

Procrastinating right now as you can see that I'm blogging... yesterday I din study at all... woke up at 8.45am to get ready to register for my cocu subject... I'm taking French... but couldn't register so have to go campus for manual registration... so message Poingee ask him what time to go cause he'll be taking as well... went to fetch him around 11am... then ask here and there and ended up that we could only register next trimester... waste my time only... I really hope that I could take it since most of my friends have taken either cocu or cyberp or both... as for me, I've taken none... so at least I could take cocu and reduce the burden for my final trimester...

After that went to find a lecturer but wasn't in... so we went to see doctor... Poingee's sick... he looks weak and like going to fall down soon... hahaha... but nothing serious la... after that went for lunch... seeing him having porridge and half a salted egg... I also have no appetite... wasted almost half of my food... the weather was so hot and feeling a little dizzy... maybe due to lack of sleep the day before... so I fetch him back and went home... and slept for 3 hours... din really touch any notes at all... felt so lazy and moodless... spend most of my time chatting or browsing...

Everyone was so hype about FYP... asking this and that... went to find lecturers and asking me what I'm doing for my FYP... makes me so kanchiong suddenly... so scared that I couldn't get the title I wanted... neway, my finals will start this coming Thursday... I studied the notes for 2 subjects dy... except those chapters in the midterms... it felt like I read nothing... so many words and it makes me wanna puke each time I look at it.. I'm so worried about so many stuff... one more thing is ITP... I heard some of my friends had gotten an offer dy... hope I could get the place I wanted...

Today, I did studied... at least a chapter for my third subject... will study another chapter after this... I promise myself I'll finish all the notes by tomorrow... so Monday I could start on tutorials... it seems like time is passing by in a flash... hopefully I got the time to finish... did very bad for my midterms for most of my subjects... and the coursework doesn't seem promising... have to work twice as hard...

Some of my friends will start their finals tomorrow or Monday... wish them all the best... and to Yen, you studied a lot as I know you did... last time when I studied with you... you always said that you din study much... but when I ask you, you studied till where... you said that you finish the notes and are doing tutorials... so don always think that people are working harder than you... studying is about understanding and not how fast or how much you studied... so believe in yourself la... sometimes I also have that though la... is normal la... hehehe... lets do our best...

Stop procrastinating...

Happiness

I was switching channels the other day cause there are nothing that interest me on television... and I stop at the Hallmark channel which are showing Oprah... the theme of that day show is: How Happy Are You? they ask the audience to take the Happiness Test to see how satisfied are them with their life...

The test was created by Dr. Robert Holden, founder of the Happiness Project... yes, there are people who actually research on happiness... he said that happiness are not to be found... cause happiness is in you... it is in your heart... you must find the key to happiness... things that makes you happy...

For example, as you know the show is watch by mostly housewives... a woman is unsatisfied with her life... stress at work and deals with the chores in the house... she is unhappy... but actually she is... cause she have a loving husband... and all her children are good and obeys her... that is her happiness... it is in her... she does not need to find happiness... she is already happy... she just need to find the key...

In life, we make choices... either bad or good... we must make the right choice... Dr. Holden says that we must be motivated by self-acceptance... accepting that we are doing the right choice... and also believe that we deserve to have more than what we had... the law of attraction also played a part... it increases our self-acceptance... we need to be surrounded by people that remind us of who we are...

He also said that we always set a target... and after we reach the target... we'll set a different target... and this goes on and on... this shows that we will never be happy or satisfied... he called this as destination addiction... we must be contented with what we have... and be happy... but humans just can't be contented easily...

Take the Happiness Test and see how satisfied are you with your life... I scored below 15... I'm dissatisfied with my life... hahaha... more details click here... if you have the time to read...

I studied today...

Mood-less

Today I was suppose to start studying for my finals... but I slack all day long... woke up it's around 12pm dy... cause yesterday night waited for my parents call to fetch them home... yes, my parents came back... they reach around midnight... they bought some cloths and snacks... so slept kinda late at 2am cause chatting with them a while... anywho, my finals' schedule:

15/5: ECP 3116 - Digital Computer Design (have to putar-putar your head)
16/5: ECP 3226 - Advance Computer Architecture and Parallel Computing (what a long name)
17/5: ETM 3076 - Communication II (hate this subject)
23/5: EHM3066 - Engineer and Society (con stories, unethical at all)

All my major subjects are group together in three days straight... syabas right... ohya, went badminton today... it was fun... Louis and Lucius joined us for the first time... cause CC can't go due to his assignment or assignments... Louis kept asking me when we're playing, when we're playing... and each time I ajak them... they got business or meeting or sort.... today actually they were kinda lazy to go... but they still went at the end... turn me down so many times dy I guess... hahaha...

So much in my mind right now... when I reach home... I was wondering whether I should get a new racquet... cause it seems like everyone had gotten a new one... and I was still using people's racquet... feel kinda... erm... shame... and guilty if I crashed it with others... like today, crashed Poingee's racquet with Yen's... sowry~

I intended to buy it before the midterm break... but suddenly I have better stuff to buy first... I changed my spectacles... cause I can't see really well anymore in class... and at the same time my speaker kong... so have to get a new one... spend all my ang pau money on the two...

After the break, due to midterm exams and assignments... we had less time to play... and I thought that it's a waste to buy... since we're having our finals soon... and holiday is coming... and we have FYP next trimester... I don't think we have time to play... and also, I intended to buy a laptop... still doubt my parents approval... but I need it cause I spend most of my time in campus... wasted a lot of time for breaks between classes... and for the coming training, it would be more convenient for me... we'll see after the finals... so, should I get a new racquet?

No mood to study... but I did start to study for my communication... studied flipped through for about 15-20 minutes... I did not understand a word I'm reading looking... at least I took the initiative ok... so I check the pass year papers... fuh~ so many stuff to memorize... some looks easy, some most look hard... liao la... and so, I decided to blog... hahaha...

---

I feel like it's been so long since I post anything about my life and thoughts or so... mostly are post copied from the EHM blog or just pictures with some descriptions... it's really been very hard for me this trimester... pretending as though nothing had happened... pretending to feel nothing... go along with the people... go along with the flow... faking a smile... faking happiness... feels like I'm a hypocrite, double face, manipulator, pretender and all the other things you could think of... relationship among people is hard and unexpected... c'est la vie or that's life, which I always tell myself... everyone lives their own life... and only cared about themselves...

Seriously, I do not know where this post is getting... I just write what comes to my mind... better that I stop here... it's too long dy... if I think more and write more... who know what I'll write... signing typing off...

No one understands...

Up high

Took this on the way back after dinner with yen on Friday...
we have McD at Dataran instead...
first time I saw the thing went up...
there actually are people go and ride that thing huh...
it look low and what to see up there?

Sien~
no mood to do anything...

I cooked

My dinner for today...
can't find any meat...
wanted to make meat balls...
just boil the pasta, heat the sauce up and walah...

Migraine...

Down the drain

Freak! Freak!! FREAK!!! Argh~ everything just went wrong today... planned to play badminton yesterday and I booked the court myself... it seemed perfect cause everyone agreed on the time I set... so was kinda looking forward to it... cause I didn't get to play it on Tuesday when they planned it... today wake up at 8.30am and walk my dog... my parents went to Thailand... so, I'm home alone till Sunday night when they come back... at 9am register for my next trimester subjects... it went very smoothly... first time in my years in MMU it went so well... after that I went back to sleep...

Woke up around 11.30am... receive a BUZZ from Poingee said that he MIGHT not make it for badminton... his family is coming... he just get a call in the morning... first freak... soon after lunch... Tzean said Poingee went back dy... so much for the MIGHT... so I ask Daryl to play and he agreed... after that get a nudge from Lai... he said he couldn't play too... family coming.... second freak... why parents like to come today? it's Friday... ain't Saturday better? so ask the others what to do... Yen and Tzean said cancel... third freak... so no choice since not enough people... have to cancel it... so much for "looking forward to it"...

Since a few weeks ago... I got this urge or kempunan to watch movie... I dunno why... but due to assignments din really have the time... so yesterday I was asking Poingee... he said Saturday he wanna study... bolat~ he said what about today morning... then after much thought... I decided not to cause he also like no mood to watch... so I might find other person to watch... Yen's busy... so like no one else... yes, I pick the person to watch movie with... I'm weird, so what... never mind since recently do not have any movies that I wanna watch... and the mood is dead...

I wonder what do to during the holiday... suppose planning on going to Lang Tengah or some island... but since no one planning, no one asking, no one deciding... it was canceled... I really wanted to go... and since we'll be starting our final year and starting our training soon... we don't have any much time left hanging out together or going on trips... I wanted to plan but don't know the selok belok of the island or anything else... selok belok as in by bas or plane? accommodations? entertainment? cost? all that sort... trips are fun... when you are enjoying yourself... but the journey and planning is the hard part... guess everything has a price tag to it...

Hmmm... I was pissed from writing this post to err.... sad? down? can't find the word to describe it... I'm still a little pissed though... din expect it to be this long... anywho, Yen ajak me for sushi later at 7.30pm... guess the day isn't that bad anyway... hopefully it won't... I had enough of 'bad news' for today...

Will I die before I die...