Break!

Having a break from life...
if not, I'll break...

Dots...

Winter Sleep

I've uploaded this song long time ago but didn't really put up the lyrics... so now here it is... I really like this song a lot... the lyrics really gets to me... it almost say out what my feelings are... hope you understand how I feel...

Olivia - Winter Sleep
It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blur

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
Kiss my lips
and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

Sorry...
Maaf...
对不起...
ごめんなさい...

Love ya...

Last week my brother came back and threat us Kenny Rogers... and also celebrate my mom's birthday... cause he will not be around on that day...


Kenny Rogers... the portion are getting a bit small...

Nando's... the portion are getting small too...

But today is the real day... so my dad decided to celebrate it by having Nando's... she likes Nando's... hehehe...

Happy Birthday Mum!!!
Love ya...

Here goes...

Lets update on what I'm up to this few days... cause too many emo post dy... well, went to aCt last Wednesday... not acting... it stands for A Christmas Thingy... it was a musical performance by Care Club of MMU Melaka... some of my friends are in the performance... so went to show some support lo... what's great is there's free gifts... hahaha... the performance was a blast... I enjoyed myself... after the performance we went mamak... long time no mamak dy... hahaha...

And yesterday went to Yen's church... she invited us... reached there quite late due to the rain and traffic jams... and due to my poor eye sight at night... hahahaa... we didn't really know where the church is... I just agak-agak around where only... and for Yen's 'helpful' map... no one understands it.... hahaha... no offence Yen... I took the MP route... it's easier...

It was also a performance... although it's not as big as aCt's... but good job... I like the mime a lot... we were suppose to bring a small present... and after the show... there's a present exchange thing... hahaha... after that, there's food... we were all hungry... we also make a few friends... it was fun...

Besides the 2 days... the other days was as normal as it could have been... except we may went to play badminton once in a while... to stretch up... or just to meet each others... recently I've been trying to patch things up a bit... well, my efforts did paid off... although it's not whole... but it's better than nothing... but some are still the same I guess... nothing could be done anymore... I've done what I could... and some... well... shrugs... no matter what... we still have to live our life... cheers...

When will I start studying...
so bored...

~Merry Christmas~

A simple scribble of mine to wish everyone a joyous day...
Merry Christmas!!!

Winter Solstice

This is how I have my 'ee'...

With peanuts... hehehe...

Suppose to post this yesterday...

but forgotten due to my aunt and cousin was here and stayed a night...

Christmas eve is just a couple of hours left...

Mixed Feelings

Recently been having all this feeling altogether... all this mixed feelings are making me crazy sometimes... don't even know what am I thinking or feeling anymore... sometimes I just went blank...

There's a time when we; the usual gang, were playing badminton at night after class... it was about 30 minutes before times up... and I suddenly went from cheerful to moody... a mood swing that just happened so fast and suddenly... I don't even know what's wrong... suddenly I just don't have the mood to talk, to joke, or to do anything...

I don't know what I want anymore... people around me doesn't feel like the people I knew anymore... they just isn't themselves anymore... acting tough and acting as though nothing had happened... keeping all their feelings inside... I also had been acting... well, sort of... but it's killing me... seeing everyone is so 'fake'... including myself... just go with the flow... thats what I told myself again and again... aren't there anything that could be done?

All this reminds me of the olden days... not that old actually... a few years back... in alpha year probably... where everyone is so happy together... no issues, nothing... just happy together... why can't we be like that always...

I wish I could go back and undone all the things that I didn't meant to do and say... or the things that I had done and said... and maybe all or some of the issues will not happened... nah, maybe I just feeling stupid... or probably being selfish... but I really wish for a clear sky ahead...

Winter solstice this Saturday...
Christmas just around the corner...

trigger

So long din post dy... is not that I don't want to post... but is because I don't have anything to post about... my life seems so bored right now... recently nothing much happened around me... everything is just normal... maybe not normal... should say that it's dull... colourless...

This trimester I feel so lazy about everything... maybe is due to only 1 subject this trimester... I have a lot of free time... 2 hours class every Monday to Thursday... but usually ends early or was canceled... the lecturer likes to cancel class a lot...

It makes me think about life... what does life really meant for... is it everyone was born and then grew up... went to school and further their education... graduate and then find a job... find your soul mate and get married... starts a family and have child... get old and die... is that what life's about?

What about one's dreams... fantasies... hopes... and wants... how many of us that really had their's came true... is it because we didn't try hard enough... or is it because we don't have the luck... or maybe we are not the chosen one... that's funny... I thought we decide our own fate... our own life... is it?

Friendship... love... do I have it... part of me say yes... part of me say no... it's confusing... when you thought you found your best friends... but after knowing them... it's a different story... you put everything in them... but what you get is betrayal... secrets will remain secrets...

Why am I thinking all of this... I have no idea... maybe because too much dramas... animes... stress... lonely... crazy... or maybe something else... or simply my life now is just too bored...

I don't believes anyone...
because I don't even believe in me...
I don't trust anyone...
because I don't even trust me...