Break!

Having a break from life...
if not, I'll break...

Dots...

Winter Sleep

I've uploaded this song long time ago but didn't really put up the lyrics... so now here it is... I really like this song a lot... the lyrics really gets to me... it almost say out what my feelings are... hope you understand how I feel...

Olivia - Winter Sleep
It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blur

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
Kiss my lips
and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now, hold me now
My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

Sorry...
Maaf...
对不起...
ごめんなさい...

Love ya...

Last week my brother came back and threat us Kenny Rogers... and also celebrate my mom's birthday... cause he will not be around on that day...


Kenny Rogers... the portion are getting a bit small...

Nando's... the portion are getting small too...

But today is the real day... so my dad decided to celebrate it by having Nando's... she likes Nando's... hehehe...

Happy Birthday Mum!!!
Love ya...

Here goes...

Lets update on what I'm up to this few days... cause too many emo post dy... well, went to aCt last Wednesday... not acting... it stands for A Christmas Thingy... it was a musical performance by Care Club of MMU Melaka... some of my friends are in the performance... so went to show some support lo... what's great is there's free gifts... hahaha... the performance was a blast... I enjoyed myself... after the performance we went mamak... long time no mamak dy... hahaha...

And yesterday went to Yen's church... she invited us... reached there quite late due to the rain and traffic jams... and due to my poor eye sight at night... hahahaa... we didn't really know where the church is... I just agak-agak around where only... and for Yen's 'helpful' map... no one understands it.... hahaha... no offence Yen... I took the MP route... it's easier...

It was also a performance... although it's not as big as aCt's... but good job... I like the mime a lot... we were suppose to bring a small present... and after the show... there's a present exchange thing... hahaha... after that, there's food... we were all hungry... we also make a few friends... it was fun...

Besides the 2 days... the other days was as normal as it could have been... except we may went to play badminton once in a while... to stretch up... or just to meet each others... recently I've been trying to patch things up a bit... well, my efforts did paid off... although it's not whole... but it's better than nothing... but some are still the same I guess... nothing could be done anymore... I've done what I could... and some... well... shrugs... no matter what... we still have to live our life... cheers...

When will I start studying...
so bored...

~Merry Christmas~

A simple scribble of mine to wish everyone a joyous day...
Merry Christmas!!!

Winter Solstice

This is how I have my 'ee'...

With peanuts... hehehe...

Suppose to post this yesterday...

but forgotten due to my aunt and cousin was here and stayed a night...

Christmas eve is just a couple of hours left...

Mixed Feelings

Recently been having all this feeling altogether... all this mixed feelings are making me crazy sometimes... don't even know what am I thinking or feeling anymore... sometimes I just went blank...

There's a time when we; the usual gang, were playing badminton at night after class... it was about 30 minutes before times up... and I suddenly went from cheerful to moody... a mood swing that just happened so fast and suddenly... I don't even know what's wrong... suddenly I just don't have the mood to talk, to joke, or to do anything...

I don't know what I want anymore... people around me doesn't feel like the people I knew anymore... they just isn't themselves anymore... acting tough and acting as though nothing had happened... keeping all their feelings inside... I also had been acting... well, sort of... but it's killing me... seeing everyone is so 'fake'... including myself... just go with the flow... thats what I told myself again and again... aren't there anything that could be done?

All this reminds me of the olden days... not that old actually... a few years back... in alpha year probably... where everyone is so happy together... no issues, nothing... just happy together... why can't we be like that always...

I wish I could go back and undone all the things that I didn't meant to do and say... or the things that I had done and said... and maybe all or some of the issues will not happened... nah, maybe I just feeling stupid... or probably being selfish... but I really wish for a clear sky ahead...

Winter solstice this Saturday...
Christmas just around the corner...

trigger

So long din post dy... is not that I don't want to post... but is because I don't have anything to post about... my life seems so bored right now... recently nothing much happened around me... everything is just normal... maybe not normal... should say that it's dull... colourless...

This trimester I feel so lazy about everything... maybe is due to only 1 subject this trimester... I have a lot of free time... 2 hours class every Monday to Thursday... but usually ends early or was canceled... the lecturer likes to cancel class a lot...

It makes me think about life... what does life really meant for... is it everyone was born and then grew up... went to school and further their education... graduate and then find a job... find your soul mate and get married... starts a family and have child... get old and die... is that what life's about?

What about one's dreams... fantasies... hopes... and wants... how many of us that really had their's came true... is it because we didn't try hard enough... or is it because we don't have the luck... or maybe we are not the chosen one... that's funny... I thought we decide our own fate... our own life... is it?

Friendship... love... do I have it... part of me say yes... part of me say no... it's confusing... when you thought you found your best friends... but after knowing them... it's a different story... you put everything in them... but what you get is betrayal... secrets will remain secrets...

Why am I thinking all of this... I have no idea... maybe because too much dramas... animes... stress... lonely... crazy... or maybe something else... or simply my life now is just too bored...

I don't believes anyone...
because I don't even believe in me...
I don't trust anyone...
because I don't even trust me...

Adeline @ Melaka

Friday:

Adeline came down to Melaka... lama tak jumpa ya... she follow her friend car... and she stop at EP around 4pm and I went to fetch her... Poingee was there dy... so we went to fetch Lai... and we're off to Dataran... cause she never been there...

We walk around and she bought some stuff... then we walk across to MP to have Pizza Hut for dinner... then Yen joined us... we walk around a while then back to Dataran... cause she'll be staying till Monday... so we have to keep some place for her to shop... hahaha...

We window shop then around 10pm we went to Coffee Bean... we ordered our drinks then crap away... the whole place was like belong to us... hahaha... cause we're the only one around... but later there were a few peoples too...

Around 11pm we feel that it was closing so we changed place to McD at Dataran... cause it's 24 hours... hehehe... so we continue crapping... went back around midnight... Poingee and Lai stayed at my house too... since its easier for me and them too... we reach home, took a bath and played PS2 till 4am... hahaha...

Saturday:
We woke up around 10am and had breakfast... my mom made kuih kosui... since we don't have car... we played PS2 while waiting... my mom ask us to have lunch later... cause she had cooked... so we had lunch and after that we went to MP again around 2pm...

Lai bought a new shoe... the others also bought some stuff... but mostly we were just window shopping... after that, around 5pm we went back my house to change... cause we're playing badminton at 6pm... fetch Tzean on the way... and then meet up with Yen and Ngan...

It was fun... but I didn't played much cause lack of sleep... hehehe... then have to drive summor... but after we played badminton and going to fetch the car... we notice that the car light was on... freak... I think I accidentally turn it when we reached... so the car can't start...

So we ask some help... and lucky for us... there's people that have the cable... so they help us recharged... thanks to them... if not, we may have to spend the night there... so we went back to Poingee place and leave the car to heat up... that's what my dad ask us to do... while waiting we bathed...

Around 9pm we went to JJ to have dinner at Johnny's... after that we thought of watching movie but its late... so we decided to went back... and we played PS2 again till 2am before going to bed...

Sunday:

Woke up at 10.30am and my parent bought breakfast... some bread and kuih... then they went to Merlimau... so we had breakfast and played PS2 again since we had nothing to do... around 1.30pm my parents came back so we went for lunch at Sibaraku and meet up with Yen... we ordered sushi cause it was on promotions... RM1.20 per plate... but not all sushi was on discount...

After lunch Yen went back cause she got something else to do... so we went to watch movie; Beowulf... we thought it was human actor... but it was animated... what a disappointment... and the story was not that interesting also... haih~ RM8 gone... not recommended...

After the movie it was 7+pm dy... so we went to Jonker... we decided to had dinner first before shopping... but the famous cendol store was closed... freak... sorry Adeline, I really don't know it closed on Sunday... so we had the one's beside it...

After filling our empty stomach... we shop... Adeline bought a shoe and some stuff... she also bought UNO to play later... hahaha... we went back at 10+pm... after bathing we played UNO that she bought, UNO stacko, and mahjong... she was addicted to mahjong... hahaha... we played till 4am...

Monday:
I woke up at 10am... went to check on them... all still asleep... so I went down awhile... around 10.30am... I went back to check on them... cause its kinda late dy... still asleep but then Adeline woke up followed by Poingee and Lai... she say she'll be going back at 1pm... so we had breakfast... my mom made chokodok (cucur pisang)... after that we played mahjong again... told you she's addicted... hahaha...

After that mom called to have lunch cause its 12pm dy... so we went down... after lunch they pack their stuff... and her friend came at 1.30pm or so... since they'll pass Bukit Beruang... Poingee and Lai followed... so no need mafan me... hehehe...

Adeline...
hope you enjoyed herself...

Thank You

Yesterday was an extremely happy day for me... hahaha... I had my 21th birthday party... invited all my friends... went MP with Yen in the morning to hunt for watch... we went all the shop in MP and spotted one... after that went to Dataran... after 2+ hours, we decided to go for the one we spotted... like it...

After that Yen went back and I help my mom to prepare the food... all the food are home cooked... except for the satay la... my sister help out too... we prepare till around 6pm and my dad and me went out to take the cake and satay... when we reach home my aunt, cousins, niece and nephew were already here...

I quickly bath and get prepared... around 7pm, all were hungry dy... so we ate lo... while waiting for my friends... one of my friends came at 7.30pm... he was all alone... kesian... around 8pm... all MMU peeps reached together... long time no see lo... some la, especially different course peeps... chat and crap... it was fun...

Around 8.30+pm or so... my primary friends came... not much of them came.. cause most of them are having their finals... all the best to them... the food had been refiled many times... but still not enough... hahaha... semua kuat makan har.... nice ler the food... ahem... so my dad decided to buy KFC... hehehe... semua walap juga....

After that recieve a message from Joel... he, Louis and Lucius are dropping by... thought they could not make it... but they did... thanks guys for dropping by even though you all are busy... appreciate it...

There are one thing that I regretted... which is to take more pictures... hahaha... cause my camera went crazy... should have used my phone instead... Jack bought his camera... shy la use people stuff... hehehe... should have taken indivudual pictures... well, nevermind... I'll remember this day forever... hahaha...

Anywho, during the party I was busy socializing... hahaha... I couldn't find a more suitable word... basically, I was here and there la... I try to chat with everyone as long as I could... and make sure no one is left behind... so if I had some place that tak terlayan... forgive me la kay... hahaha... I hope all of you really enjoyed it as much as I do...

Lastly, I wanted to thanks all of you that came...
and thanks for the presents too...
THANK YOU!

10/11/07...
a day to always remember...

unplanned

Today was boring as usual... woke up, watch tv, had lunch, on my computer, crap... the crap could be anything from chatting to watch anime or drama... while chatting today... around 3pm Daryl called me and ask me to lepak... hahaha... so I agreed... long time din lepak dy...

So we went to Dataran... the parking was full house... so we went out and went to MP instead... turn here and there and lucky for us... we found a parking place near the entrance... it was full of people... Daryl wanted to have Burger King... so we had it for our tea-time... hahaha... I was a little hungry too... i finished the burger... but the fries I only had a little... but with Daryl around... nothing went to waste... if you know what I meant... hehehe...

Window shop a while... bought some nonsenses... went to the arcade... at first Daryl thought want to play... but then he change his mind... sot... we just walk around... and around 5pm we went home... it was great lepak-ing with him la... cause so long I din lepak with him dy... last time lepak with Arif, he's not in... now lepak with him, Arif not in... hopefully the next lepak is with both of them...

Happy Deepavali...

Extended

Yesterday was the first day of class... well, for most of us it is... for me is not... cause I have a class on Monday night... anywho, yesterday was a 'blast'... class starts at 5pm... I reach at 4.45pm... went to FBL 5th floor... there were a lot of people... waited a while then everyone started to went into the class which my class is... feeling weird, another girl and me went out of the class... cause no one we know and the lecturer is different... why are they in our class...

We waited outside... then most of our course mate came... almost 5pm dy... lecturer haven came... crape and waited for about 10 minutes or so... but our lecturer haven come yet... so Lai and me decided to go lab and check... when we reach the lab... just wanna use the computer... my phone vibrate... Tzean say lecturer is there dy... freak... went back and the lecturer say class is cancel... because the lecturer that suppose to teach us isn't around... so postpone till next week... syabas right...

Waste time and effort only... so basically, everyone else has started their studies... except for CE students... and we have another week of holiday... I have a bad feeling about this trimester...

Extra holiday...
boring~

Private Practice

Private Practice is a spin-off of the series Grey's Anatomy... spin-off according to Wikipedia, in terms of television series, is another series 'split' from an existing series... I watched 3 episodes of it... and I totally love it...

The series follow Addison as she leaves Seattle Grace to Los Angeles... where there, she joins a private practice... that's where the series gets its name... leaves the hassle and bassle of the city behind... in Private Practice, everything went slowly... I don't know how to explain it... just watch it la... hahaha...

The series is also sort of a medical series... but with a twist of seriousness and laughters... if you watch Grey's Anatomy, it's something like that... but the leading actress is Addison... Addison is pretty and cool... hahaa...

Tomorrow is officially the start of new trimester...

Joey's Party

Last last Saturday went to Joey's birthday party...
as promise this is the camera pictures...
better quality of course...


Happy belated Joey...

The early group...

Joined by two more girls...

The guys that came early...

The whole gang that came or went to Joey's party...
If you see carefully... someone's missing... cause she went back early..

P.S: Thanks Joey for sending me the pictures...

Two more days...

Short talk

Results were out...
all pass...
but very teruk...

Telecommunication peeps...
re-examination this Friday...
all the best...

Last week of holiday...
neither sad...
or happy...

Class starts next Tuesday...
only ONE subject...
boring...

Japanese class...
starts Monday...
lazy...

Lovin' my phone...

My N73 ME

I bought myself a new gadget on my birthday yesterday... Nokia N73 ME...
I couldn't show you the phone cause I don't have my camera...
so I just show you the box la...
hahaha...

Front...

Side...

Back...

The back of the phone...

so happy...
^.^v

I am Nokia Nseries...

My Day

Wishing myself:

I woke up today and my parent also just came back... they bought cake... owh~ I ask why buy cake... my mom say today is the real day... that party is not... hahaha... thanks mom and dad... love ya...

Guess what I use to took the pictures...
here's a hint: its not my camera...
hehehe...
HAPPY DAY!!!

Temporary

Just remembered my phone have some pictures of that day party... it's kinda blur cause it was taken by another friend phone... the lighting is not enough... I edited it as much as I could dy... this is just a temporary pictures... will post more when I had gotten the camera pictures...

This is among those that came early... birthday girl are in black...

After that, 2 more girls joined us...

After that, more peoples came... there's a group shot... it's not with me... that have to wait...

Haih~
tele students have to re-exam one of their subjects...
all are very pek chek now...
wish them all the best...

Un-occupied

Just finish watching Grey's Anatomy third episode... been anticipating it for a long time dy... well, George repeats his internship... and others has started their residency... but everything just isn't what you had expected it... just watch for yourself la....

Today I decided to put up a banner on my blog... had a small idea of what to make... but spends 2 hours keep on editing it but didn't came out the way I had imagine it... so ended up with a simply banner as above... after that remembered that Yen's blog got divider... looks nice... so I make my own divider... have no idea what to do... so just simply do lo... turn out to be quite satisfying...

Last Sunday started reading Harry Potter... finish it in 4 days... hehehe... the book started quite boring... almost half way through only the juicy parts came out... if you haven read it... don't worry, no spoilers here...

After reading the book... I was bored... have nothing else to watch... Nana still downloading... it's moving with a speed that is quite satisfiying la... but usually around 10kbps... sometimes less than that... and sometimes miraculously it jumps to 20-40kbps...

Ohya, yesterday went to a friend's birthday party at Merlimau... primary friend actually... there are 3 of us from Melaka to Merlimau... a friend of mine drove... we were the earliest among our other friends that arrives... the others came around 9pm and 10pm... all from around Merlimau... nearest came latest, furthest came earliest... long time din see them dy... once in a while come out and have a drink with old friends... chat and crape even joke around and knowing what they up to... it is kinda nice though... pictures will be uploaded when I have them...

This few days since Thursday... my mind been wondering and thinking too much... it refuses to shut down at night... been spending hours lying in bed... till around 3 or 4am only I fall asleep... and I went to bed at 2am the latest... can't fall asleep isn't a big deal... but together with dizziness and headache... it's horrible... I just can't stop thinking... a lot of stuffs in the mind... I couldn't even remember what now... and everyday I would woke up after 12pm... *hit head*

What a long and boring post...
my life seems colourless...
neway, need to make my mind occupied...

Olivia - A Little Pain

Started watching Nana the anime... but download very slow... just watched 5 episodes... the ending song catches me... hehehe... listen~

Travel to the moon

kimi wa nemuri yume wo toku
The dream where you first appeared fades out

Dare mo inai hoshi no hikari ayatsurinagara
The light of the star I longed for is taken away

Tsuyoku naru tame wasureta egao
The smile I had to forget in order to be strong, for sure

Kitto futarinara torimodosu
If we are together, we can take it back

~Chorus~
Kizuite
Open your eyes,

I'm here waiting for you

Ima to wa chigau mirai ga atte mo
There is a future different from now

I'm here waiting for you

Sakebi tsuzukete
And I continue screaming

Kitto kokoro wa tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
The thread that binds our hearts together is pulling

Ano koro no watashi me wo samasu you ni
To bring you by my side as before

No need to cry


Travel in silence

te wo nobaseba fureru no ni
I extend my hand to feel you, yet

Kimi wa tooi sore wa omoide no naka no koto
You're so far away, that memory is etched within me

Koe ga kikoeru me wo tojireba
When I hear your voice as I close my eyes

Chiisana itamisae itoshikute
Even a little pain is precious to me


Mitsumete
See me now,

I'm here waiting for you

Kaze ni fukare hitori mayoutte mo
When I'm all alone being blown by the wind

I'm here waiting for you

Sora wo miagete
I can see the entire sky


Zutto kokoro wa te wo hirogete mamotteru
Truly inside my heart, my hands stretch out to protect your heart

Ano koro no kimi ga furikaeru made
until you come back

No need to cry

(Feel something, Feel nothing)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces

~Chorus~

(Listen closely, listen closely)
(Listen closely, listen closely)
(Listen closely, listen closely)

Grey's Anatomy Season 4...
hehehe...
downloading...

Early Present

Yesterday met Arif... Daryl had went to Indonesia... so only both of us... Arif invite me to his house for Hari Raya... went to his house around 2pm... but his mom's friends is there... so we decided to go MP and have lunch instead... called Daryl on the way... he picked up but the line was bad... we heard his voice and some noise behind... but think that he didn't heard ours... whatever la... hope he's well...

Quite a numbers of cars in the road... but not jam... when we reach MP... it was so full... searching for a parking space is difficult... the basement is full so we went outside... luckily for us we found a space near to the main entrance... so we straightaway had lunch at Burger King... cause Arif said he miss all the fast food... hahaha... cause Sabah, even McD and KFC also don't have...

After lunch walk around... I bought a bag... hehehe... birthday present this year from Arif and Daryl although he's not here... thanks guys... but I still owe them their present... Arif wanted to buy a wallet... but couldn't find any to his liking... so after that went across to Dataran... nothing much to see... just walk around window shopping...

Around 4.30pm we had Coffee Bean... cause Sabah don't have... hahaha... around 5.15pm we went home... fetch Arif back and no one was at home... thought of going in to crape a while... but I was kinda lazy and tired... hahaa... so went home...

Looking forward to going out again next time... but with Daryl... but Arif going back this Wednesday dy... haih~ seems like have to wait...

Started reading Harry Potter...
hehehe...

Hari Raya

A short post to wish those celebrating Hari Raya a wonderful holiday... especially to my friend Arif... :þ

I want ketupat...
hehehe...

All in All

Yesterday was quite a disaster... suppose to went out yesterday to have satay celup due to Wednesday plan was canceled... but asked everyone all have a sudden change of mind... and most of them had gone back to their home town... so at the end left Yen, Lai, CC and me... discuss discuss then was suppose to cancel the idea of going out... but at the end we decided to play badminton... what a sudden big change...

Poingee and Tzean came back to pack their stuff... so Poingee joined us for badminton but Tzean went back... so we played from 4-6pm at the court at Batu Berendam... after that Poingee straight away went back to Muar... Yen went back home... so we thought that's it... see you all next trimester...

I intended to have dinner with Lai and CC to make up to them... actually to make up to Lai only la... hahaha... don't want him got disappointed again... so we discuss where to have dinner... and that was SUCH a difficult decision... from Bukit Beruang to MITC to JJ... we discuss around and around... at the end... we had this...

Yup, we went to JJ... thought will jam but the road is smooth all the way to we find a parking place... our first choice is KFC... but the queue was freaking long... so we change to Shakey's Pizza... went in but no place... so we went to Nando's...

We ordered our food and called Yen... she decided to join us too... it took her around 20 minutes to reach... but our food took longer than that... so we ate, chatted, joked, craped, and make a fool of ourselves... hahaha... good food with good companions... what more could you ask for...

After dinner around 9+pm... we decided to watch movie at MBO... so we walk across from JJ... reach there but all the show will only start at 10.15pm... an hours more... so we decided to went home... fetch Lai and CC back and I went home... even though the plan doesn't work out like it should be... but at least it is better than not going out at all... happy holidays once again...

CHEERS...

Anticipated Ending

So long din update dy... just finish my last papers today... been going to the library almost everyday to study... all the subjects this trimester is so hard and have nothing to do with my major... except multimedia la... that's what i think anyway... well, it feel SOOOO good the exam is over... finally can relax dy...hopefully I won fail la... suppose we went out after the exam today and have satay celup for dinner... but my dad wanna use the car... so have to balik lo... sorry guys... actually I also feel kinda lazy and tired... hahaha...

Nothing much happened during the study week and exam lo... went to library study... come back from library... eat, sleep, study again... then tomorrow repeat all over... so tired and not enough sleep... don really think of other stuff except study lo... got some issues happened la... but all in all its fine... and this trimester... it seem like love is in the air... hahaha... even my dog is in love... kakaka... just kidding... well, not me la of course... hehehe... cannot bocor here la... bahaya :D...

Neway, its holiday dy... my 2 best friends are back... Arif celebrating Hari Raya... Daryl finished his industrial dy... but he's going to Indonesia this Saturday... no idea what for... ask him like dowan to say only... ingat lu... hmph... hope I could see them soon... so, wish everyone...

HAPPY HOLIDAY!

I'm here, counting the distances to the end...
will there be a more anticipated ending...

I on Malaysia

Hehe... after lunch or food testing... we went to the Eye on Malaysia.... its located at Tasik Titiwangsa... we went there it rained on the way... but luckily it stop when we reached the Eye...

There are quite a number of peoples... mostly are school kids... primary school kids in their uniform coming by bus... we went straight to the ticket counter... RM15 per adult and RM8 per senior citizen... kids are also RM8 per person...

There are 42 gondolas altogether... each could occupies 8 persons... that's 336 persons that thing could occupies at a time...

When we went in... we took pictures as many as we could... cause we thought it just turn a round or two... but at the end it turn 7 rounds =.=... on the third or fourth round.... we got bored dy... cause nothing much that you could see from top there.... it's kinda disappointing cause it's not as high as I had expected it...

Here are some pictures...

Took it when we arrived... it's going to rain...

While waiting for our turn...

My parents...

The newlywed and me... hehee...

Twin Tower and KL Tower...

Views around the lake...

The entrance to the Eye on Malaysia...

The lake...

Hehehe...