Through the window

My feelings right now is exactly like the picture above... where you see out of the window, you could see the sun light far far away... but you could not see it clearly... there are trees in front blocking it... I feel lost right now... is like there is no one that understands me anymore... I think I have returned being my old self again... thinking and hiding my emotions and feelings to myself... keeping it in a dark place where no one knows... I feel like I could not trust anyone...

This blog used to be my happy place... where I wrote whatever that comes to mind... it doesn't matter whether anyone is reading it... at least I had a place to let it out... but now, I noticed that I have stopped blogging for about a month dy... it felt dead... like how I'm feeling now...

This past couple of months... works been piling up... stress had showed it's face... and my mind could not think properly sometimes... it feels like everything around me is a mess... my life is a mess... I needed a break... but team building wasn't as fun as anticipated... and was down with a fever and sore throat... being sick, the brain totally shut down... so I took it as a sign to take a break that I deserve... I decided to go back to the little town that I know... where the pace is slower... and the environment that I'm familiar with...

This couple of days... just siting at home doing nothing.. savour my mom's cooking and just relaxing... well, it have quite opened my mind a little... settling down and calming myself... which leads to this post... I told myself: "yes, life sucks, so suck it up"... but sometimes, it's eating me inside.. bit by bit... well, c'est la vie...

I might been a jerk this pass few months a couple of times... well, here I apologise... I'm not in my right mind... everyone have their ups and downs... it's just depends on how you manage and control it... I admit that I do not manage and control it properly.. I'm sorry...

Deep in thoughts...