Christmas confession

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

This post was not planned... recently, I am lost again... it's been months since I last blog... work been piling up... it feels like I was put on the spotlight.. extra work have been kinda frustrating too... which I brought it to myself.. thought it will get me off my mind... seems like is the other way around... emotions of the heart still a big issue... I feel lost and lonely and everything in between... I do not know what to do..

It's been more than five months since that day... that day that I made everything worst and awkward... I thought I could handle and coupe with it... but I guess it is too much for me.. it still hurt each time I think about it... but if you ask me whether I regret it... I would say no.. past couple of weeks, things are starting to get not so awkward anymore... but sometimes it still does... because I wish for more... I hunger for more... I controlled my feelings and emotions inside... but I could not control other people's... but when I am alone.. the emotions eat me inside... little by little... I hate the feelings and emotions I feel... I cant breathe.. it's suffocating me... but I could not do anything...

There have been millions or billions of 'if' that been crossing my mind... but I do not have the courage to make it real... I scared it will make things worst... so all the thoughts will just be kept in my mind... and it is driving me crazy sometimes... but I could not do anything... all I could do is wait... and wait... and wait..

Christmas day...

Just another day to me...

Pangkor, revisited

Some randoms photos from the Pangkor Team Building... been delaying the post for months... finally posted about it... all photos are in sequence...sure brings back memories...

Regrets and mistakes...

they're memories made...

25 and still counting...

Today I turned 25... quarter of a life time... what have I done this 25 years? It feels like life is so short... and you do not know what to expect of it... the meaning of life... is there really a real meaning to it... you will spend your whole life searching for it... and you would not find the true meaning of life...

25 years are a very long time... but looking at the things that I done... it's like nothing... what have I been doing my whole life? Went to kindergarten... went to primary school... went to secondary school... went to universities... got my degree... got my first job... went to Thailand... went to Vietnam... went to Pangkor... what's next? Taiwan trip? find my other half? get married? have children? raise children? grow old? live a normal life? what is a normal life? is there such thing as normal? define normal?

25 years and I am still here... have nothing... people living their dreams... on TV, on newspapers, everywhere... but I am still here... counting... twenty-five...

still counting...

A Spontaneous Melaka Food Trip

Last weekend, some of my friends decided to follow me back Melaka... a very spontaneous decision indeed as they ask me when will I be going back a week before that... and I said this coming weekend... after a day they message me that they want to follow me back... 

we left KL around 1pm or so as one of my friend are working... reached around 3pm... drop by my house to put our stuff and went food hunting... first stop, the cendol upstairs... hahaha... cause you have to go up a stairs to the shop... it's just beside the Casa del Rio... don't order the rojak cause not nice and expensive... the cendol cost RM2.50...

 Next stop, Chicken Rice Balls...

 The chicken very smooth... we went to the one in Jonker Street...

 Rice Balls...

 Walk a while for souvenirs then stop at the famous cendol... price have increased to RM3.00...

 After that, the weather is killing us... so we went to Dataran to cool off... around 6pm we went back to Jonker Street for dinner... went to the stall beside the famous cendol shop... below is the Curry Mee...

 This is Laksa... very spicy...

 Ordered Durian Cendol... forget how much... but the ice not very smooth or soft... all harden... not nice...

 After that we walk around the night market... and went home to rest... the next day, woke up at 10am and I bought them for Bachang Spare Rib Noodles (排骨面)... they also sell others like Beef Noodles.. pictures below taken with my phone... lazy bring camera...

After that, went or mille crepe... of all the flavours, the original is still the best...

Then went back to my house to rest... we left around 2.30pm... which I blackout on the way after Nilai... if not mistaken... I am not sure what happened... a second I was awake... the next I heard a crash sound... my car have hit the divider... my friend behind shouted what happen and I awoke and was shock to what had happened... the friend in front pulled my steering back... it was a shock indeed... luckily no one was hurt...

我想通了。。。

Short updates

Been busy recently and was lazy to blog about anything... Pangkor trip photos was still pending... I am too lazy to choose the pictures and edit them... too many photos... other than that, have a few other stuffs to post about too... well,  like my company department dinner at Yuzu, Gardens... what else? I could only think of that now...  ohya, finally bought my Canon EOS 600D DSLR... finally... haven been really taking photos with it... just playing around with the settings and functions... as for work, been busy as always... especially before the raya week... kinda chaotic... have training this Monday and Tuesday... well, hope it would be exciting... and as for life... still sucks... typing off...

ごめんね。。。

Pangkor, from my viewfinder

Well, I actually do not know how to write this post... the trip was not as exciting as anticipated... so, we basically booked a tour bus from TPM to Lumut... it took around 4 hours to reach the Lumut jetty... then another 15 minutes or so to reach the island via ferry...

This is the small jetty at the island...

Some views from the jetty while waiting the shutter to transport us to the hotel...

This is the resort we are staying...

Snap a few photos while waiting to check in...

Our first lunch... a bit weird... it's like they put all the buffet dished in a nice and decorative plate and serve to us..

There are fruits too...

The first day was kinda 'not-that-fun' as it was a Friday.. there are a few issues happened and we need to support them... so my colleague have to turn on her laptop and do support... I helped her too cause it is related to me... while the others enjoying themselves...

Sometimes, while waiting for the user to reply us... I took some photos nearby... and spotted a peacock... but the feather was not that beautiful...

The peacock was trying to impress the lady peacock... but I think he failed...

Arounf 4pm, we have a team building activities.. there are some games and it was kinda fun... but the activities was kinda short... photos will be right up in another post as I do not took them..

Then we went back to get ready for dinner... the scenery there was not that breathtaking... to me, it felt normal... maybe Phuket have too big of an impression to us... and we have big anticipation on Pangkor... so it was kinda disappointing...

Dinner was at a open buffet style beside the beach with barbeque... food was ok...

The next day... after breakfast we have a island survivor game... we were split to 2 team... we helped the fishermen to catch some fish using the traditional fishing net way... it was kinda fun and when we caught some fish... the feeling was indescribable... then, we need to build a shelter, search for fruits, make a fire and cook the fish we caught... it was damn tiring... photos coming up soon...

After lunch and rest a while... we have a photo hunt activity... where we were shown some photos and we need to look around the resort and snap it... kinda boring and the weather was so hot... after that some of us decided to go to town to buy some local delicacies; ikan bilis... hahaha... we came back and have dinner beside the beach with this amazing sunset... mesmerizing indeed...

On the final day... we suppose to have a jungle tracking activities but it was cancelled because no one wanna go... so they change the activities to kayaking... it was fun and exciting... at first it was kinda difficult to kayak further as the wave is kinda big... but after you have pass the waves into the open sea... it is smooth sailing... I mean kayaking... had lunch then it's time to check out... and it's another 4 hours on the road... I slept the whole way...

As you could see... I did not take a lot of photos... maybe I was under the weather... and there is also not much interesting stuffs to snap...

Another day have passed...